Letter from a mum of the pandemic - The challenges of an international family

 

I became a Mum to my gorgeous 19-month-old baby girl during a pandemic in Hong Kong. I have always loved children and have worked with families for over 10 years before starting my own. That's why it was a complete shock how underprepared I felt looking after my baby! Now I work part-time as a play promotion officer and have a small passion business supporting other new mums to learn baby massage and thrive in motherhood.

 

I did expect motherhood to be hard with sleepless nights and breastfeeding issues as I had heard many stories and supported others.

 

However, what I didn't realise was that emotions are STRONG after the birth of your baby and I started to feel worried and guilty like I never had before. I feel I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best mum and to give my baby the best start despite living in a pandemic that sometimes I didn't just focus on the moment in front of me. I also found motherhood, surprisingly to me, actually quite boring at times! I have always been very busy as a person and although definitely, motherhood is busy, it was a very different feeling.

 

The pandemic added so many challenges to my motherhood journey. I was separated from my baby at birth as she needed to be transferred to another hospital for care and I wasn't allowed to attend. For a week, I could only visit my baby because I wanted to breastfeed and only for a set time during feeding times which put a lot of pressure on my breastfeeding journey. It also meant I was walking and waiting outside hospital rooms for over 12 hours a day after giving birth as it was such an ordeal to get in that I was afraid with all the changing rules I wouldn't be allowed back in if I left. 

 

It then resulted in us moving countries and making the hard decision to separate from my husband so I could go home and get some support from my mum whilst he went to a different country to set up for us. It meant after 4 months separated we spent an obscene amount of money on being reunited including 14 days alone with a 5 month old in hotel quarantine. It has continued to result in us parenting with no family support nearby and limited family visits. It continues to pose challenges for work and family life balance.

 

But despite the crazy, it is my daughter's very unique birth story and a hard but big learning curve for me as a mum! There have been so many tears but my daughter is fun, unique and loves life and I have found strength I never knew I had. Hotel quarantine for me was a bit of an eye-opener to realise that I alone am enough for my child and whilst that can be a heavyweight it was very empowering to me. It also spurred me on to reach out to other mums. I used to attend baby classes online each week and they were something I looked forward to. I fell in love with baby massage and studied to become an instructor and now I help pay it forward to other mums learning the skills in motherhood.

 

You have the strength that you don't even know exists yet. It sounds like a complete cliche but focus on what you can control and reach out for support whenever it's needed and whatever that looks like for you.

 

Hard times will come and they will go and you can thrive in motherhood without loving every moment of it.

 

Your baby loves you unconditionally and you are the best mother for your child.

 

Love From,

A fellow Mum of the Pandemic xx