Letter from a mum of the pandemic - insight into PNDA and PTSD

Dear Mum of the Pandemic,

I first became a mum in January 2019 to a beautiful baby boy. Although it was pre-pandemic, I still entered motherhood in a way I’d never imagined. A traumatic code 1 C-section emergency birth left me with PNDA & PTSD. Still battling with PNA, I then gave birth to my second baby (a girl this time) in May 2021 (mid pandemic). Her birth healed my first birth wounds and I entered motherhood this time around with more confidence. Before becoming a mum I was a high school Dance & PDHPE teacher. I am still on maternity leave with my baby girl and am enjoying watching my two babies grow.

I pictured motherhood to include long walks with a sleeping baby in the pram, followed by cafe catch-ups and play dates with friends. I was very, very wrong haha!

In the beginning, I found motherhood to be isolating and terrifying. It was not at all like I had imagined. I have come a long way in the 3 years since first becoming a mum though, but it is still the most difficult job in the world. Your children are your everything and you would do anything for them. But there wouldn’t be a mother out there who hasn’t thought “what have I done?” one time or another.

In terms of the pandemic, being stuck at home with a 2 1/2-year-old and newborn baby, told by the authorities that we couldn’t have visitors to our home without a valid and legal reason was incredibly difficult.

My husband has been working from home since shortly after our son’s first birthday. At times I wish for the day he returns to the office. But having him home has meant that I have had an extra set of hands when I’ve really needed them. And he’s witnessed so much more of our children’s lives than he would’ve if he was working in the office full time.

I encourage you to still get out of the house every day. Despite having a newborn baby a few weeks before Winter I still got out of the house every day. Mostly for a walk along the lake or to the park, but it kept my sanity. My son burnt off some energy, my baby slept whilst held close to me in the carrier and I got some exercise and much-needed adult conversation from whomever we met for a walk.

Build yourself a tribe of like-minded Mums. Being able to share your experiences and vent when needed allows to you feel human even when you’re feeling at your lowest.

I once remember hearing the saying “put them in water or take them outside”. If you’re ever battling with a toddler tantrum, a child who is bored or are simply feeling on edge yourself. Then follow this mantra. Humans are not supposed to always be indoors, so get outside and enjoy the sunshine, splash in the bath, jump in the puddles or go for a walk. Tell me you won’t be smiling after you do one of these things!

Love From,

A fellow Mum of the Pandemic xx